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Dreams

February 17, 2012

My 100 Songs from the Noughties was a speed writing project in the last months of December 2009; quantity over quality in an attempt to kick start stalled writing ambitions. My 100 Songs from the Nineties is supposed to be the more considered follow-up, tracing the most important decade in crafting my musical tastes. It is supposed to be largely chronological, at least initially, to show how the creation of this critic was based on chance encounters, diversions and dead ends. Back then there was no Youtube or iTunes, and I can remember waiting six months for a CD to come to me on a boat from the US. I had selected it from a large paper list – as large as a phone book – from the local CD store (in reality a small side-line for the local video rental shop).

Two years later I’ve written nine entries, and none of them are my best work. Not that I am not apologising. My one-time wish to make money from writing has been eclipsed by a young, growing family. This dream is isn’t destroyed as is my long-held wish to work in radio, utterly undermined by a disastrous week’s internship at the ABC. This was not their fault, but a flaw in myself is irrelevant in the world of community radio but fatal in the air-checked world of the national broadcaster. I didn’t have the clearest run – the staff were a little distracted by the imminent abandonment of the the building scheduled for the next week. At least I can say I ran the panel (under supervision) for an episode of Richard Fidler’s afternoon show even if the upshot was a realisation of my limitations.

Radio, though my great love, was not my original dream. I grew up loving radio – I used to listen to I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again at night, when the AM signals bounced a far off ABC station into my state. But my real dream was to write. Getting into IT was merely a way of earning money which would allow me to write. Instead, it funded my explorations in student radio. That said, I did find a sideline writing music criticism in the student newspaper. I wrote for much of the Noughties, mostly for student paper or net ‘zines. It came to some relief my journalism Masters reaffirmed I could write. Not bad for someone who couldn’t remember his grammar lessens from school.  (Actually, I am a compulsive re-writer, something I’ve tried to not do with my web jottings – it would take far too long in a toddler defined world to complete anything.)

But if I worry about my current lack of writing, then I will put it in conflict with my other duties. I will still write a bit, but the Nineties are not going anywhere, so I think even if I don’t finish it until my kid and a half are both in school, then that will be fine. Dreams may come later. If not, the side-steps and distraction have been just as exciting.

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